I Am Not Deserving

Things are given all to me,
Anything I need,
But these things are all free,
And I am not deserving.

I have a disease,
And a military veteran,
And so I get all of these,
To meet all my requirements.

But I am not deserving,
A good sailor, I was not.
Yet still they give me everything,
I have gotten quite a lot.

I see veterans every week,
Many with limbs long lost,
They deserve all they seek,
Things they need the most.

A degree of disability,
Determined by the government,
And yet they do not seem to see,
They should get their needs met.

Because I am a veteran,
One who has MS,
With no degree of service-connection
Yet treated nonetheless.

So I go, I play sports, in a chair,
Travel all around the country,
A different place each year,
The places that I get to see!
Karen 1

I win the medals,
This year four gold,
Yet feel like a failure,
Due to the feelings that I hold.

I could not get,
The things that I wanted,
Living in anger and fear yet,
I am myself, still haunted.

Because a disease that I have,
All sensory and prosthetic need met,
Does not serve as a salve,
For things I still regret.
I am not deserving.

– van –

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