Haunted

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Empty as a grave yard.
Haunted in my nightmares, and waking life as well.
I don’t know if I’ll ever feel well.
What gives someone the right to use,
a child you bore yet now abuse.  
Was love ever present there?
I felt I needed to get somewhere.
Somewhere that someone could love,
like the Father up above.  
But every move that I did make,
always ended up a mistake.
I’d feel the pain deep in my heart,
and cried at night since the start.  
I was there to make her look good,
but only in the neighborhood.
Once we came inside the door,
then I was subjected to more.
I didn’t learn right from wrong,
I guess I knew that all along.
She should do what is right,
as I’ve long given up the fight.

3 thoughts on “Haunted

  1. Things that happen in childhood stick with us and leave a gaping hole that we are left to fill. It’s not fair, it’s not right, yet there it is. The hole for me was ‘no family’ despite coming from a family of eight children. And I kept coming back to them hoping for love, for wholeness, and the more I did the larger that hole grew losing myself in it. Then I found me. Inside. Deep inside. Now I am alright. I have me.

    We are born into the world alone, detached from our mother’s for the first time. And we go into death alone. So why leave myself in all the time between looking for love, truth and life from others who just don’t care, or can’t care because they do not have the capacity to? I find what I need in me and others who became more family than ‘family.’

    I wish that for you too and believe you can find that ‘love’, that wholeness.

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    1. Thanks for your support. I have to admit it is taking me a long time to find that wholeness. There were times I thought I had it, but no, it was just a temporary fill. I’m hoping that my writing continues to help me dig inside myself, to find the person I truly am.

      Like

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