Depression – Here I Come!

If my mother hadn’t died from stage 4, cervical cancer, she would have turned 76 today.

I don’t know why this is so important to me, when I hated her more each day.

I am angry that cancer got her so young.

But why, after all she had done??

If she’d gone to a doctor to get checked out,

She would have lived, I have no doubt.

She never would go to get seen,

Wouldn’t take me until my pain was keen,

Now I feel I have no one,

Who knows all my father had done,

He too has passed away,

I think of him never, in a good way.

I feel so very much alone,

I sit and wait by the phone,

There is no one I can see real soon,

The silence echos like a boom.

I’m going backwards to a past,

A time when good things never last.

Depression comes, and then it goes,

How long it will last, no one knows.

2 thoughts on “Depression – Here I Come!

  1. Is it snowy where you live? Are the days shorter? I thought I was doing ok handling this winter’s SAD, but my thoughts are definitely bringing me down so much I admit I am struggling. Maybe less lights is adding to your troubles.
    Sometimes we have to make our families out of new people. When I look at your photos and see you involved in so many things it seems you have. But maybe the activities have calmed down due to cold weather. Any indoor wheelchair events? Are there those whom you can pick up that phone and call? I ought to pick up my phone and use it. I get too isolated sometimes and of my own doing or preference. But I am feeling it’s time to branch out more.

    Like

    1. I don’t usually do any wheelchair sports during the winter, though I may start some bowling with a guy who has asked me out on second date. It’s hard to leave my protective shell here, but I live in the Midwest (Wisconsin), and yes do get a lot of snow at times. The chair I’m using now doesn’t do well in snow, but helps me to rebuild my upper body strength. I do have my Church family, but again, I am afraid to reach out to anyone, and branch out more, even though I know I should.

      Liked by 1 person

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