Deep Fear

Each memory that arises fills me full of disgust.
I don’t want to go there, but I know that I must.
If I don’t, he still has that power over me.
Something that I really hate to see.

Deep inside the fear is still there,
I hear noises, but I know not from where,
My dreams are feelings disguised as nightmares,
I have to keep pushing, I know someone cares.

When I feel that I can go no further,
How could he ever hurt her?
She was so very young,
Not knowing what she had done.

She is me, behind a mask,
Why is it there, I have to ask?
Why not get it all out in the open,
Where something, for me, can be done with.

My Father will always be there for me,
Even if I can’t actually see.
His Love for me will never fade,
Turning to Him was the best decision I made.

2 thoughts on “Deep Fear

  1. There’s many paths to healing and my inner wounds didn’t really begin fading until exposed to air. Sounds like that’s the path you are on. Hard work, so hard, and good work.
    So true, you were just a little girl, just like any other little girl. Once up and out, the memories lose their hold and power. And cultivating that love and compassion for the little girl that were and part of you still is, is a great and loving thing and you are doing just that. I had abandoned ‘her’ just like everyone else did.
    You are an amazing and special person.

    Liked by 1 person

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